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"Am I A Writer?"Cynthia's Column July 2005 I had lunch with someone recently who asked me when I knew I was a writer. She was a woman in her forties who had finally settled the question for herself of being a writer."Am I a writer?" is a question that a lot of writers struggle with. Many of us knew very early that we wanted to be writers. The first great discovery was reading. We discovered that inside books there were whole worlds of adventure and magic. Then we realized that someone made that magic and put it into a book. And the person who created the magic was a human being not wholly different from ourselves. In our culture the foremost makers of magic are our writers. As a child, hunched over a thin piece of wide-lined foolscap that tore easily, could not be erased without a pinkish-black splotch, working with a bad point on a number two yellow pencil, I discovered I could get lost in writing words. That inside that gray messy sheet of paper there was another world. This discovery was power. It was a magic wand. At a very young age I'd think about those deep philosophical kid-questions such as "What would you do if you were stranded on a desert island or locked in a prison cell for twenty years?" I always felt that if I had a pen and plenty of paper, it wouldn't be too bad. Since that time (more than forty years ago now) I have discovered a few things about the "Am I a Writer?" question: The dictionary defines "writer" as "one who writes or has written something." This is not an accurate definition. There are many writers who don't write. And many who have not yet written. Trust me on this. I know a lot of writers. "Writer" is not a title given out by God. He will not give you a sign that you are one. He has given humans free will to choose for themselves what they want to be in life. "Writer" is not a title given out by an editor or publisher when they accept a piece and buy it. These professionals don't waste their time reading submissions by non-writers. (In fact such submissions don't even exist. ) If "Writer" were a word that only meant people who support themselves by writing, ninety percent of our writers would instantly cease to exist, leaving us with a few journalists and technical writers, a handful of best sellers, virtually no novelists, short story writers or playwrights and no poets at all. By this criteria most of the great writers in history would not be able to call themselves writers, including Shakespeare who made his living primarily by acting. "Writer" is a title you bestow upon yourself. A gift. And it is a relief to tell the truth about a deeply felt secret that you fear is not true. Not real. But it is real. The truth in your heart is the only truth that really matters. Calling yourself a writer can be used as a powerful tool to keep yourself focused on fulfilling your own dream of being a writer. When I was waitressing for a living, summers in college, if someone would refer to me as a waitress, I would correct them."I'm not a waitress. I just do this for a living. I'm a writer." Was I writing anything while waitressing forty hours a week? No. Had I ever made a dollar writing? No. Was I really a writer? Yes. Would I be one today if I had accepted the others-bestowed title of waitress? Maybe. You are a writer if you are reading these words now. I can say this with certainty about you personally because any non-writers who may have stumbled across this newsletter have already lost interest in this Column and stopped reading. These words are only of interest to writers. And you are a writer if you feel bad when you don't write for any extended period of time. We used to call it guilt. Trust me: Non-writers don't feel bad about not writing. There are some writers who never write. And it is hard for them. A part of themselves is not expressed and the self grieves for that loss, consciously or subconsciously. But how can I be a writer if I'm not writing? Some writers don't begin to write until their children are grown. Pearl Buck only began to write once her children were grown. She was nearly 40 and she went on to win the Nobel Prize for literature. Some writers don't begin to write until they retire from their careers. Norman MacLean wrote his first book, A River Runs Through It after he retired at the age of 71. Was he a writer at the age of fifty or fifteen? I think so. He just wasn't writing. Listen to this, one of my favorite last paragraphs of all great book endings: "Now nearly all those I loved and did not understand in my youth are dead. But I still reach out to them. . . Eventually all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words. And some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters." Not bad for a guy's first book. And a septuagenarian at that. I hear you thinking, "Yes, but Norman MacLean is a real writer." So are you, my friend. I know you may have been telling yourself you weren't a writer because you weren't writing and you let the Oxford Unabridged beat you up with its short-sighted definition of "one who writes."The dictionary is wrong. You are a writer. Who do you want to believe? Me or Danny Webster? I invite all of you, my fellow writers, to join us at our conference in August 5, 6, 7 at the Embassy Suites Hotel at PDX. Log onto our website and give yourself the gift of communing with your fellows. And of taking your work to the next level. Getting it out into the world where others can benefit, and allowing yourself to profit from your good, hard work. You can register for the conference directly on our website at willamettewriters. com or call the office at (503)452-1592. Giving this gift to yourself will validate the truth about you. A writer is anyone who declares himself or herself to be a writer. Who knows it with the heart. And it is also anyone who has ever asked the question "Am I a writer?" That particular question only occurs to writers. Cynthia Whitcomb is president of Willamette Writers, and has had 29 of her screenplays produced. She is author of The Writers' Guide to Writing Your Screenplay and The Writers' Guide to Selling Your Screenplay. She teaches screenwriting classes at Portland State University.and through Willamette Writers. |